It’s not just in healthcare where Bethany has experienced stigma – she’s felt it from other people living with diabetes too. 

“I have quite a high insulin sensitivity, so when I take insulin, I need to take quite a lot each time. When I’ve tried using online forums and websites in the past, people have judged me or felt the need to comment on it. The people who you think are supposed to be there to help and support you can end up doing the opposite.” 

The impact of stigma can be wide-ranging and Bethany herself says she’s had a bad time of it.

“I’ve felt a lot of stigma around injecting – either feeling like I need to do it somewhere in private, or people round the table asking me not to do it in front of them. 

“I got to the point where the lumps and injecting all the time basically gave me a fear of needles and I had a period of around six months where I had high blood sugar all the time because I didn’t want to inject.” 

Stigma also has an impact on socialising. Bethany says that a lot of the time she has to really decide if she can be bothered to go out for a meal with friends as the questions about why she’s spending time working out carb content wear her down.

One of the most common things we know people with diabetes hear is ‘can you really eat that?’ and Bethany says this impacts her a lot. “I don’t want to just go out and have a salad, but it’s usually the easiest option to avoid a lot of questions, but it isn’t really what I want.” 

It was love at first sight for Douglas and Jane when they met in the chairman’s office at the London Metal Exchange, Douglas recalls. Jane, then 48, was the chair’s PA and Douglas, 51, had come to meet the chairman. He was hoping for an invitation to one of the state banquets Douglas organised for heads of state, as a ceremonial assistant to the City Remembrancer. 

Douglas, a former soldier said: “Eyes met and that was that. It never faltered. We lived in romantic love for the next 39 years. Jane was a great communicator – her profession was public relations and she had worked all over the world. She was very good at getting on with people and people loved her. 

Jane was diagnosed with diabetes around 20 years after they got together. Both her parents had had diabetes.

"I was 100% with her, making sure she was taking insulin. I’m a bossy person, she didn’t need me to check up!"

“I had lists in my kitchen of foods that Jane said she mustn’t eat, could eat whenever she liked and could eat occasionally and food she would never eat, to help me when I cooked a meal for her. Diabetes was just part of life.” 

I constantly worried about Eddie for the first year, whether his bloods were in range, worrying when they weren’t and even worrying when he started to run around like a typical three-year-old would. I’d think, ‘oh no, he is going to have another hypo’. I didn’t want to stop him joining in with his friends and having a nice time so I just tried to deal with it as best as I could. 

We still find that so many things can affect Eddie’s blood sugars: being active, being upset, being excited, being hot or cold, being poorly, being tired.

Holidays

One thing we find tricky is going on holiday with Eddie. If we go abroad, the heat affects his levels and the first time we went away after his diagnosis, his bloods went really low. He was also very active by the pool and so he suffered with some bad hypos which knocked him out. 

I found this so frustrating in the early days. It put a dampener on our holiday and both my husband, and I were constantly worrying about him. Now, we have learnt to follow the exercise guidelines much better, and we give him a carbohydrate snack before he exercises if he is too low. We then set a timer on my watch to top up his snacks every half hour according to the guidelines.

Coping better

Two and a half years in and I’m coping much better. I’ve been quite vocal with my friends, family, and the wider community about our difficulties as I don’t think people talk about their mental health enough.

I don’t believe anyone should feel ashamed to say that they aren’t feeling well, and I would encourage anyone in a similar position to talk to others and seek medical help if necessary.

We've met a lovely group called Gwent Children’s Diabetes. We meet a few times a year in Maesycwmmer and the group is run by an amazing group of volunteers who organise activities for the children and the parent and carers sit and chat over a cup of tea and biscuits.

We’re really lucky that at school Eddie has a dedicated teaching assistant who has been trained by the healthcare team, and who manages his bloods sugars in the day. She only contacts us if there are any problems.

We haven’t any other respite care as we can’t really leave Eddie with family and if Eddie wants to go on a play date we have to go with him. My mum helps out with babysitting and does as much as she can but at nearly 70, it feels a lot to ask. 

Not long after her diagnosis, Freya had to make the transition from primary to secondary school. She remembers times when she felt very self-conscious about having to leave the classroom or eat something if her blood glucose was low.

“I didn't want to stand out but sometimes I felt I had no choice.

“There have also been times when I felt very down because of the condition. I haven't looked at photographs of myself when I was nine before I was diagnosed because the reminder of how young I was would still upset me.”

Looking ahead, Freya is a very active volunteer for the Together Type 1 youth programme, passing on her experience of living with diabetes through primary, secondary and sixth form schools and also of navigating her teenage years with the condition.

My three months were up, and the day arrived for my blood test.

All the work was for this moment, and I was rewarded with the best news that my HbA1c was 39 mmol/mol – my doctor was thrilled. I thanked him, as he had given me the motivation I needed, and I will forever be grateful for that. I’m also grateful to my wife as she forced me to go to the doctor in the first place.

I honestly felt like I was in my 20s again with more energy, sleeping well, and with more confidence. I was addicted to running, even in the rain, and all this in the space of three months. I also eliminated any anxiety I once had and felt balanced and content.