It’s part of being human to eat in response to our feelings.
All kinds of emotions can compel us to eat, from unwanted moods such as frustration, anxiety, worry or feeling down, to positive emotions like excitement, celebration or anticipation. Even neutral feelings such as boredom and apathy can be a cause to eat.
In a world where we are often surrounded by food, eating can be a common response.
There’s nothing wrong with using food to cope with feelings some of the time. Food is great at regulating our emotional states, and it’s a strategy that has been around for as long as we have.
Nurturing nutrition
Food has never been just about fuel for the body. Ever since you were a baby and were comforted by milk when you cried, food became a powerful symbol of feeling soothed and nurtured.
Is it any wonder then, that regardless of our shape and size, many of us impulsively reach for food as a way of coping with everyday emotions? From stress at work, to conflict in our relationships, most of us need comfort from time to time.
Using food to cope
This becomes a problem when we find ourselves in situations where we are experiencing feelings and, rather than identifying them, our brains give us the instruction to eat. This prevents us from normalising, expressing and managing our emotions.
We tend to automatically listen to this instruction and eat - and often, eating does actually make us feel better. It can settle us and soothe distressing emotions.
There's nothing wrong with this - sometimes, only food will do. But sometimes you may benefit from strategies to identify, express and manage your emotions, rather than dull them with food.
Get in touch with your emotions
When you start to understand where your emotions are coming from, you can begin to have a new conversation with yourself when you overeat. Rather than saying unhelpful things like "I'm greedy" or "I'm out of control", you can figure out the deeper reason.
For example, "I'm eating because I feel betrayed that my friend shared private information about me", or "I'm eating because I'm cross with myself for not finishing my work".
Once you’ve identified the real story behind the impulse to eat, what’s next? If someone else is causing your emotions, you may be able to express your feelings to them.
Sometimes this isn't possible though. For example, telling an unfair boss what you really think of them when they expect you to work overtime yet again might not be the best idea!
So, what other ways are there to express unwanted emotions without resorting to overeating?
Figure your trigger
- I am….
- At….
- Because…..
Some examples of this could be:
- “I am upset at my partner because he/she forgot our anniversary."
- “I am angry with my friend as she shared something I told her in confidence."
- “I am embarrassed that I fell over at the bus stop."
- “I am cross at myself because I didn’t get my work finished."
- "I am frustrated that the kids don’t keep the house tidier."
Express yourself
Ways to express your emotions in a risk-free way could include:
- Talking to a friend or family member.
- Giving yourself permission to go off and have a cry.
- Writing out what you feel, even if you tear up afterwards.
- Express yourself in a safe, physical way, such as exercise.
- Distracting yourself with something enjoyable.
Small, manageable steps
Even if all you do for now is carry on eating, but successfully identify the reason why, you're making an important first step.
Emotional eating can have roots in early experiences, and you may need support to help identify the root cause.
You can always seek support from your diabetes healthcare team, psychologist, counsellor or GP, who will be happy to help you.
Difficulties with emotional eating can be managed and getting support can be an important first step on your journey.
The sour side of a sweet tooth
Sugar has become a staple ingredient of modern day eating, and everyone, with or without diabetes, can benefit from limiting their intake.
But, in our sugar-laden diets, this is easier said than done, particularly as sweet food is often offered as an expression of love in our food-abundant cultures.
Here. psychologist Dr Jen Nash shares her take on dealing with sugar cravings below, and offers a perspective on the underlying causes behind them, in an effort to help you master them.
Sugar cravings
It is perfectly natural to enjoy sweet food. We have evolved from times when food was scarce, and high calorie food was rewarding both to our taste buds, and for our survival. Some people feel ‘addicted’ to sugar, and report that freedom only comes when they completely abstain from it.
Sweet food certainly acts on the reward systems in our brains, and, for most of us, sweet food has a positive impact on mood, at least in the short-term.
The concept of a sweet tooth is a fascinating one. As a psychologist working with people with a ‘sweet tooth’, it is interesting that often the desire for sugary food is a signal that ‘sweetness’ is craved for in another part of life.
Craving sweet food has become a socially acceptable smokescreen for a desire for ‘sweetness’ in other forms, whether it’s stress relief, comfort, reward, overcoming tiredness, or prolonging a celebration.
It's important to note that it's not 'bad' to crave sugar and it shouldn't be something you should feel guilty about - cravings are natural and most of us deal with them at some point.
Mind over matter
But what has your ‘inner world’ got to do with sugar? If you’re curious, the first step is to be a detective and notice what’s going on when the sugar craving strikes. You can start by getting clued up about the three different types of hunger:
- Stomach hunger is the signal that your body needs to be fed. E.g. an empty/gnawing feelings in your stomach, irritability, headache or fatigue, amongst others.
- Mouth hunger occurs when one of your senses triggers a desire for food –smelling or seeing food / images of food or hearing food-related sounds such as a packet being opened.
- Heart hunger is a desire for food that occurs due to an emotion, memory or thought, or about your sense of self. It develops suddenly and occurs in your mind. Eating often leads to guilt and/or shame, rather than the satisfaction that comes with eating in response to stomach hunger.
If you’re not experiencing stomach hunger when you’re craving, then it means you’re ‘hungry’ for something else. Sometimes only sweet food will do, but rather than just ‘numbing out’ and eating unconsciously, start to see the desire for sweet food as a symptom, or clue, revealing something else. Try asking yourself, ‘What am I really hungry for?’
Could it be...
- To reward or treat yourself for a job well done (or just getting through the challenges of the day)?
- To prolong a ‘high’ or celebration?
- Or something deeper - a different relationship, a less stressful job, or a more appealing way to spend your days?
Sometimes it’s possible to create changes in life to get these true ‘cravings’ met:
- Leave or speak up in a relationship that isn’t working for you.
- Read a book that teaches skills to communicate differently to people that leave you feeling angry/taken advantage of.
- Find more creative ways of rewarding yourself.
- Change your job or negotiate different conditions.
If it’s possible to make the change then do so and notice what happens to those sugar cravings. But sometimes it feels impossible to make these big changes and we can feel very stuck. Often just the insight of what you are truly craving loosens the grip of power that it has over you.
So rather than saying to yourself, ‘What’s the matter with me, I just can’t resist sweet food’, you can instead start to see the craving as an attempt to get an important ‘inner’ need met. You can begin to have a different conversation with yourself, ‘Ah I see, I’m craving this sugary food because of XYZ’.
Sugar doesn’t have to be the enemy, to be battled. When we switch our mindset to see the sugar as an attempt to take care of ourselves, we can start to think creatively about our choices.
Think of a child you know. Yes, they might want to keep eating sweet food until they’re sick, but as a parent, you likely allow sugar in moderation and then engage them in a distracting activity that will appeal at least as much. What might be your equivalent? After all, as adults we too need a good balance of work, rest and play.
Look elsewhere for your fix
If you realise you’re craving sweet food in relation to your inner world, try one or more of the following and see what’s helpful:
- Talking to someone who understands.
- Writing it down (you can destroy it afterwards).
- Getting active/engaging in physical activities.
- Create another way of treating yourself.
- Say no to others’ requests.
- Have a sleep.
- Meditating, praying or having some other reflection time.
Sugar cravings, as well as cravings for reward, solace and celebration, are natural. Remember it’s okay to use sugar to deal with life’s problems some of the time – most people do.
Finally, try and learn from the ‘predictability of life’. If you know that certain situations, events, people and feelings trigger your sugar cravings, how can you be kind to yourself and create a plan to help you? Sometime preparation is the best form of defence.
Difficulties occur when sugar becomes the ‘go-to’ way of dealing with problems it wasn’t designed to fix. By figuring out what you are truly craving and developing a range of ways to deal with it, you will be in control, not the sugar.
Where to find support
To chat to someone about your relationship with diabetes and food, call our helpline on 0345 123 2399.
